Shirts and other things I saw at the Crossfit Games other than the athletes

I saw a lot of triceps. I saw a lot of sunburns. I saw spectators dressed as if they were headed to do a workout, not watch one. I saw a lot of Reebok nanos. I saw countless ripped hands, bruised collarbones, and scabbed shins. I saw a baby wearing a shirt that said “beast mode”. I saw an unexpected number of long blonde pony tails.

I saw food trucks selling grass-fed beef hamburgers. I saw food trucks with menus sorted by paleo and paleo-ish. I saw probably a hundred thousand sweet potato fries. I saw line ups 45+ minutes for a hamburger, while the woman running the churro stand wondered why she hadn’t had a customer in hours. I saw even longer line ups to get into the official merch tent.

I saw a tired crowd get to its feet, heat after heat, to cheer on the any straggling finishers. I saw that one drink vendor in the tennis stadium who kept saying Vitamin C Water (instead of Vitamin Water) like 12 times over the course of the weekend.” Water, water, Vitamin C water!” I saw this old man, who identified as the grandpa of one of the athletes, watch what must have been his first competition. While watching the team legless, he was like, “oh holy smokes, now the girls are going to do it!!!”, totally impressed. I saw a lot of people with tattoos.

I saw a teenage girl kind of freak out after meeting her idol, Annie Thorisdottir. I saw Annie Sakamoto sitting a few rows behind me at one point and she is really beautiful.  I saw Max Greenfield just walking around and got all flustered while telling him that I hope he and Veronica Mars end up together, but he politely took a photo with me anyway.  You guys, I saw Pukie.

I saw a whole tonne of trapezii. I saw lots of neon colours and bare torsos. On the non-bare torsos, I saw many, many Crossfit-themed shirts.  Crossfit shirts are totally a thing. People love them! I mean, people really, really love wearing Crossfit shirts.

In the vendor’s village, I saw a lot of merchandise catered to women. It’s nice to be a considered a worthwhile market share! There were some booths that went with the “if you make it pink, that means its the women’s version” approach, others that printed the exact same things on men’s and women’s shirts, and others than haven’t gotten over snatch jokes yet.

Very Pink

Very Pink

I understand that we all need to get our bangs out of our eyes, yet still felt overwhelmed by the extensive headband selection.

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walls and walls of this!

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Phew, they have it in lace!

And of course, the classic Crossfit-themed thong booth (which had no line, I would like you to know).

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Yes, that is underwear that says “perfect snatch” and “first I clean it, then I jerk it”. There was also one that said “I lift heavier than your girl, I look better naked, and I only eat grass fed beef” [sic] which is honestly a lot of message for a little piece of cloth.

And for the girl in your life who likes to look like somebody slapped both her butt cheeks but doesn’t want to have to do the dirty work, there’s always these shorts:

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But let me tell you, the real story here is the shirts.

The most common were shirts declaring toughness in the wearer or enforcing toughness in the reader of the shirt. There was one that said, “If I pass out, please note my time” but I didn’t get a photo of it.

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I really like that the athlete has a pony tail

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She’s not wrong

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To whom are you addressing the message of your shirt? Me? Everybody? Are we all Buttercup? This shirt is aggressive! I don’t want to talk to people in my gym this way!

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Ah, I get it, I see what you did there

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For… partner deadlifts?

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Don’t worry, you can both. No need to pick. Choose your choice. Everybody calm down!

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They thought it was sugar and spice in the 50’s, but modern medicine has shown us otherwise

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Well, okay now you’re just giving me conflicting messages about the components of girlhood

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I considered getting this one. I like it a lot

Okay, so far, so good.  What else? Well there were plenty that went heavy on the girly girl

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A beastette is a person with one leg significantly bigger than the other

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All this good work and then they go and forget to dot the i’s with hearts.

There were MANY shirts declaring strength to be beautiful. I only took one picture but I swear there were dozens!

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Other variations were even more explicit. Like “Strength is beautiful” and “I am a strong and beautiful woman”.

There were also the ones that you would really only understand if you do Crossfit:

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“Use an edgy graffiti-ish font but arrange the names in a heart shape”

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If I had a friend named Isabelle, I would have bought this for her

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The question of our time

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I don’t get this shirt, but at our gym we say metcon instead of wod?

And there were the ones that made fun of ellipticals:

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In kids’ sizes

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You might as well pick one up for the hubby as well

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I think this one is awesome

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Another brand drove the point home

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This was a men’s shirt but wow do Crossfitters hate ellipticals or what?

There were the “I heart…” shirts

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After my week of heavy squats, I’m calling this shirt a liar

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I thought this one was funny, but I didn’t buy it because the LifeasRx logo was too big for me

And there were ones that are like, wait why do you want a shirt that says that?

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Okay.

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SIGH. In general, I advice against apparel that points to one’s bum

Okay.

Okay.

I’ll call this category “shirts for men about women”

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I can truly not even imagine being friends with somebody who owns this shirt

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The tildes on either side of “OR” get me every time.

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I like this one!

And the official Games shirts. I’ve written about them before, but it’s still really cool to me to see as many women’s jerseys being sold (and bought) as there were men’s jerseys:

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Kristen!

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Camille!

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Lindsey! (I also saw shirts for Christy Phillips, Michele Letendre, Becca Voight, and Sam Briggs)

I was really excited to spend some dough on some sweet Crossfit threads while all the Games, but came back empty handed. I liked the athletes’ jerseys, but I don’t like shirts with years on them. I liked some of the LifeAsRx shirts, but they involve their logo too much in the design. Otherwise, nothing was really up my alley. I have plenty of Crossfit shirts. I’m a person who likes Crossfit shirts! But so many of these were just trying too hard, or something.

Oh well, at least I met Officer Leo!

maxgreenfield

The back of my Crossfit shirt says, “It’s not swagger, I’m just sore”

3 thoughts on “Shirts and other things I saw at the Crossfit Games other than the athletes

  1. whew, that’s quite the shirt collection!

    the Wodscala one is kind of funny…there’s a WODKILLA shirt with a machine gun on it (google it), so the WOD-scaler one has a squirt gun. haha.

    Does your gym call all WODs metcons? Even ones that aren’t at all metabolic conditioning?

    You are very radiant in the picture with that dude! 🙂

  2. I couldn’t stop laughing at your shirt comments!!

  3. Whaa you met Max Greenfield! Great post! I like the running/lifting shirt. The gym was giving away extra t’s but the only one left in my size says “I heart snatches” on it. Sigh. I wear it around the house and sometimes the grocery store. I console myself by saying that the “es” at the end makes the difference. “I heart snatch” is so much worse. But I still do not wear it in public because it makes me feel icky. I keep finding myself trying to think of ways to DIY-craftily cover up the snatches phrase because I like the gym logo on the back, but sewing and crossfit together seems like an odd fashion statement I won’t attempt. If it were a yoga shirt, there’d be no problem. hm.

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